Today was a good day, maybe not fantastic or even out of the ordinary good, just plain old good.  Any day that I laugh with my teenager is a good day. Today we laughed a lot.

  After work Mo wanted to go and look at dresses for homecoming. You should know, this child, she is the power shopper from hell. We went to the local gotta have it overpriced prom dress store where a very skinny middle-aged woman swooped in to help us.

  In five minutes Mo had me standing with both arms in the air holding multiple dresses up off the floor. The tiny little woman came to my rescue, took the dresses and got us a dressing room.

   After touring the store for ten minutes, Mo had seven dresses to try on. They all weighed about twenty pounds each and required removal of her head to get them on.

  We need a puffy slip, we need heels, we need jewelry. The tiny woman was happy to oblige. I felt a little bad for her, she wanted the commission on one of those $400 dresses and I knew we were just tire kickers. Mo loves trying on princess dresses.

   Believe it or not, she had all those dresses on, accessorized, pictures taken and back in her street clothes in under thirty minutes. And they all had to be laced up the back, and then unlaced, by the same starving mother.

   My daughter, I think she is adopted, well I would if I was ever able to forget pushing her out of my girlie bits, has a shape I would kill for, this tiny little waist and boobs she must have paid for with tooth fairy money because they didn’t come from me! Every dress fit like a glove, like it was made for her. She looked beautiful, just like when she was five and playing dress up.

  Fortunately for both of us, Mo shares my twisted sense of humor. She tried on one dress that was very pretty but had this weird kind of open topped box that her boobs sat in. She looked down at her chest and then up at me while trying to close the top of the box and preserve some of her modesty. She started laughing, and I knew instantly that we both had the same thought ” You can put your weed in it.”

   After major dressing and undressing we went to dinner and started talking about being politically correct.  Holiday lights, do Jews put up lights? I think not so they are Christmas lights. Then Jew made Mo think of her friend, who is a Jew, pretty rare here in Momoville. Then, wonder of wonders, there is a new kid at her school, he is black, and jewish. I asked if he was Sammy Davis Jr’s kid, cause seriously, how many black jews are there? Then we were coming up with new names for people and I said “He’s a jewack” We always combine what you are, if you are a diabetic jew, you are a jewetic, one of those dumb things we do. Then Mo said “No, he’s blackish”

  Being ever so quick to catch on, I thought she meant not really  black, so I’m trying to figure out what to call him when she says ” you know mom black and jewish- blackish. Then I laughed like a hyena and she knew I got it. She also informed me we are going to hell. I hope they have ju ju fish there.